It happens. You know you should sit down and make something, but you just don’t feel inspired.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have been able to build my life around something I love to do. I took many roundabout ways and made lots of bad decisions so it probably took me longer than most to get there. The imposter syndrome runs deep, it’s not a false a modesty. I genuinely can’t believe I’ve fooled the world into letting me live this life as an artist dude. What kind of sucks though, is that I think it makes me do this thing where, if I have any spare time, it feels like I should be making the best use of it. And if I’m not using this time to make personal work, or somehow further my craft in some way, I feel guilty.
But then there are those days where I know I’m not going to make anything meaningful. It feels like a chore, and I know I’d likely just be going through the motions, traveling familiar paths in the name of practice or experimentation.
Don’t get me wrong, that’s not wasted effort, but sometimes you just need a break to recharge and think about other stuff. I actually find sometimes it can be helpful to veg out, recharge and rest your brain.
One of my guiltiest of pleasures is to fall down ridiculous YouTube rabbit holes. One of my favorite destinations is that coyote guy who lets insects and animals bite him, then describes his pain in great detail. Not sure why I enjoy these so much. It scratches some weird caveman itch in my reptile brain. But he’s gotten famous by doing it so he must be doing something right?
WHY COYOTE? WHY???
Then you start thinking about how this guy is probably making a great living off of letting animals bite him and then describing each stage of pain to his cameraman while writhing around in the dirt in terrible pain, and how maybe, just maybe it might be smarter and possibly more lucrative to do what he does instead of toiling for countless hours drawing and painting all day and night. Sure, He’s in agonizing physical pain. But that might be easier to wrap your head around than the pain you feel when you can’t get that sketch to work or that form to roll just right.
But then you keep watching, and his arms all swollen and he’s all sweaty, or there’s that one with the snapping turtle where you can tell that shit must have really hurt a lot and you feel a little better about the relative safety of our chosen profession.
I wonder if he’s ever like “I just don’t feel inspired to have any poisonous insects sting or bite me today…Perhaps instead I’ll watch some painting tutorials to clear my head.”
Also like this guy because if you squint a little bit, from certain angles he’s kind of got a Dan Dos Santos thing going on. 😛
What do you guys like to watch when you play hooky?