Many of you have heard of Mihály Csikszentmihályi’s work studying the “flow state” in which performance at a task becomes so engrossing and enjoyable that one’s sense of time disappears. It is characterized by a feeling of challenge meeting the skill to achieve the goal.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how energized I feel by the kinds of work I am getting these days. The more personal I’ve gotten with my work, the more clients reach out to me with projects that align with my specific identity and expertise. For instance, it has always been a goal for me to work on projects that incorporate my Native American background, and as I’ve grown my body of works specifically originating from that aspect of my identity, I’ve attracted clients and projects in need of that lived experience. I’ve also been asked by clients to utilize other special interests – my interest in romantic scenes, in beautiful people outside of what’s been considered “conventionally attractive,” in diverse portrayals of gender and sexuality, and in showing all types of skin tones and body types in heroic situations – and also in painting convincing fantastical animals, and captivating illustrations for children.

 

When talking with a friend recently, they mentioned feeling burnout, and dissatisfaction with a particular assignment they felt was a mismatch for their interests. The client could have chosen someone else who would have loved the subject matter, but instead they assigned my friend whose portfolio does not suggest that type of interest. It made this friend feel like the client saw them as an interchangeable cog, rather than as the source of an individual voice well suited to the assignment.

As freelancers, of course we need to keep assignments coming in so that we can pay the bills. But the specter of burnout looms behind the jobs that don’t feel in some way personal. Why?

My thought is this: Work burns us out when it doesn’t achieve the balance of a challenging, worthy goal vs. the skill to achieve it.

While something unfamiliar or poorly-matched might be challenging enough to maintain interest in one’s first few years as a professional, the motivation of adding the finished piece to the portfolio fades away. The technical challenge was energizing for a while, but as our confidence in our skills grows, we no longer feel the zing of performance pressure. We learn that putting the “did it for the paycheck” jobs into our portfolios only attracts more of that type of work and subject matter. Some of us start amassing folders of work that we don’t widely post, in order to avoid advertising for more of the same.

What about growing outside of your so-called “comfort zone?” Once an artist has enough facility and experience, the question “Can I achieve this?” loses interest. It becomes a given. Interest can be increased by continuing to push into new mediums and techniques, of course. But in order to maintain a high level of motivation, the artist needs to develop a more and more personal relationship with the idea behind the assignment to stay able to slip into energizing flow.

Subject matter matters! A truly unique personal voice is a combination of style, skill, and subject matter.

When we look at art, we use a few parameters to gauge its success or power. What’s the first impression? On closer inspection, how technically impressive is it? What does it say; what does it make us feel? We call these aspects to mind when choosing our artist heroes and most inspiring pieces. We can and do stay motivated by applying these questions to ourselves – but if we’re only getting to really shine in one or two of these categories, then it’s likely we won’t be able to keep accessing the “flow” state. The work will no longer be a source of energy in and of itself.

I’m not the first person to advocate doing personal works alongside the work you do for clients. When I was a student, I was given the advice to replicate every school assignment again with my own goals so that my portfolio contained only work I cared about. Ever since then I have continued developing my own body of personal work, usually aiming to put 1/3 or more of my creative time into work for myself. These personal works are what I show potential clients first, by making them the bulk of my social media activity and the landing page of my website. The engagement I’m feeling with my client work at this phase of my career is a direct result of that practice.

I knew at the beginning that continuously making personal work would result in a lot of portfolio work to choose from. What I didn’t foresee was how much thinking long and deep about what I paint and why, would make me better at thinking about work for my clients.

I know my rhythms: Load up on input at the beginning by researching comparable projects, gathering relevant reference, reading background material, talking to expert friends, and immersing in the emotional tone of the project; then turn my main attention elsewhere to let these ingredients bubble. Sleep on it. Call it to mind when sleepy or distracted or in liminal spaces like planes, cars, trains, the bath, or during final render process on other work. Try viewing it through unexpected perspectives or combinations. Ask myself: what is the most simple and direct way to communicate the whole of this research? Where’s the most potent meeting point of the emotional impact we’re looking for, and the format to communicate it? I might sketch, but I don’t seriously thumbnail until about two weeks of steeping in the project.

I’ve just recently learned of a study that backs up my thinking on flow as combining “…extensive experience with a conscious release of control, allowing for automatic idea generation.” So my ideation method of looking intensely at the project for some time and then looking away and letting my subconscious take over is something others experience! I feel I have trained my brain to function very well at this specific task of building up new information to add to my expertise and then letting it lead the way; I can almost hear the cooling fans in my head kick on when I call the project to mind.

By the time I work on the sketches to send to the client, the idea has had time to bump around in the nooks and crannies of my mind. The less obvious aspects have time to unfold. Authentic supporting details reveal themselves. Consequences to any potential decision can be explored. From the mist emerges the version of the project that uses the full capacity of my skill, my lived experience, and my expertise – the version only I can do.

This is what brings meaningful personal motivation. The client will get not only what they hired me for, but what they hired me instead of anyone else for.

And I’ll turn around and add the new thinking to my personal portfolio pieces to keep the cycle in motion!