I’m traveling home from a Magic: the Gathering event today, and my experience here was a little bittersweet. It was the first one I’ve done in a few months. The first since the sudden illness and passing of my big brother Simon Nelson — the person who introduced me to Magic cards.

He got his first job when I was 13, and spent his newfound coinage on really cool stuff. For a few years prior, he had been too old to want to hang out with me so much (he was a teenager and I was still playing with stuffed animals and making paper dolls). But with the purchases of a Playstation and Final Fantasy VII, and Magic: the Gathering cards, he opened my eyes to amazing new worlds of art and music — along with a possible future in which I could be drawing people and clothes and animals as a job.

It’s been many years. I’ve painted many Magic cards now. And while painting each one of them, I have always thought about how proud Simon was going to be when it came out.

 

 

I recently completed my first couple of cards knowing from the start that he wouldn’t see them.

It was emotionally intense. I called him to mind and painted with the feeling and intention that I was showing him every single stroke. “Simon! Watch this!” He used to DJ for me while I drew, and I thought he was just the coolest. By the time I was doing Magic cards, we lived in different states, so he never saw the process of a Magic card from start to finish like that. My little sister has, though. I still love to replay her voice in my mind, from when she’d occasionally tell me, “Nonie, you’re so cool.” Just the way I made Simon feel, I hope; and definitely the way he made me feel too.

I can’t show the card painting my sister saw yet here, nor the one I showed Simon’s spirit, but in the meantime here’s one that holds a lot of the love of nature he and I shared. The feeling of being loved by the Earth. Being at home anytime we were in the forest.

A little over ten years ago, I was working on pieces inspired by my Ojibwe heritage. I had been planning a painting of the trickster figure/folk hero Nanboozhoo. I set up a cabin trip in the Poconos to go shoot photos for forest inspiration and reference. I invited some friends and family, so Simon was there in the woods with me, like old times.

…Old times when we used to climb…

…on…

…EVERYTHING.

He was getting onto every cool-looking rock or log. Getting in every shot I wanted to take.

He was driving me crazy and he knew it.

Then I realized, he was being Nanboozhoo. I had planned to have him pose for Nanboozhoo, but he didn’t have to pose. He was living it.

I got an absolutely perfect shot for the painting that day.

Later when I got the time to do the painting, I took photos throughout the process. These are ten-year-old phone photos, so not the best quality, but you can see how it progressed. From blocking in directly with oil paint (sometimes I do a detailed drawing right onto the surface, sometimes I transfer one from a printout of my sketch blown up to size, sometimes I go straight into paint) right up until almost finished.

Here’s the finished painting:

And here’s the original photo. My big brother Simon Nelson, channeling Nanaboozhoo, as ever.

He once drove me so insane with sibling rage that I tried to stab him in the heart with a plastic fork. All the tines flew off on impact; brother unharmed. His laughter at my failed attempt on his life made me want to try again, but when I looked at my weapon — ruined as it was — I had to start laughing too.

I will miss this prankster/musician/line cook/cheerleader/co-conspirator/nuisance/confidante/supporter/pacifist/protector/instigator/best friend for the rest of my life.

I’m going to show him so much stuff in the meantime.

Watch this, Simon!