(Note: the images associated with this writing have virtually nothing to do with its content and appear simply because, I like them)

I recently picked up a few copies of ā€œartā€ magazines. After reading a couple, I realized that I am too damn dumb to be a real artist. Real ā€œartā€ is described in terms like:

ā€œA complicit satire of the art market, or worse, as an example of condescending spectatorship.ā€Ā 
Or a work of art can be ā€œfastidiously carefree.ā€Ā 
Apparently, ā€œthe female form speaks of castration and nothing else.ā€

Sounds a little scary to me. But, looking at a bunch of images of real ā€œartā€, it turns out that some of it is a little scary. One well known artist builds a sculpture, live, using a saw horse and rendered lamb parts. Iā€™m way to dumb to think about sculpting like that.

Clearly, the kind of stuff I like and the kind of stuff I make isnā€™t art. If I were to sculpt a portrait of Michael Jackson decked out in his Thriller costume, at best, it would be an example of proficient craft. But, if I have a team of craftsmen create a portrait of Michael Jackson in porcelain and gold leaf cuddling up with a chimp, well, that thereā€™s art.

Nothing of mine has ever been described as an ā€œimage that contextualizes the larger narrative of national history with its attendant traumas.ā€ And, Iā€™m not sure Iā€™d want that description applied to one of my pieces, since Iā€™m really not sure what it means.

I had to read this one a couple of times. ā€œBlack lines frame some of the compositions to deadpan effect, paradoxically delineating the non-image.ā€ When I think of deadpan, I think of Buster Keaton.

Some things I make because I like the way they look. Some things I make just to see if I can. Many of the pieces I create are about me, my friends, my family and the human condition as I experience it. My human condition would be hard pressed to be described as ā€œcheeky dubiousness of ambivalence.ā€

I have never, to my knowledge, sculpted anything containing or referring to a node. A work by a celebrated painter contained ā€œnodes of a feathery density.ā€ Feathery density? Is that like light heaviness? Beats me. The same artist was able to do away with ā€œalloverness in favor of asymmetrical knots of activity.ā€ Two things struck me about that. I didnā€™t know ā€œallovernessā€ was a word, let along one word, free of hyphens. And ā€œasymmetrical knots of activityā€ sounds like something youā€™d need to take an antibiotic for.

I put a great deal of value in craft. But craft on its own is just skill. Which isnā€™t to say that a profound level of skill isnā€™t art. But a high level of craft at the service of an ideal is about all I need from art. But Iā€™m kind of simple.

A work of art ā€œwhose formal strength hinges on its violation of pictorial cohesionā€ seems a little like describing the Emperorā€™s New Clothes as having a “Wagnerian petulance exhibiting the dichotomy inherent in its formalness.ā€ I made that last bit up. But it sounded good. And I bet, somewhere, to someone much smarter than me, it made sense.

One of my all time favorite artists (and I use the term as it applies to not-real art) is Gil Elvgren. Big strike number one: he painted pin-ups. Big strike number two: he painted art for billboards and advertising. Big strike number three: a lot of people really liked his work. He had mad skill. He was a brilliant designer. A clever story teller. And the guy knew women. He was never crass or condescending. His work may seem a little simple and unsophisticated. A man after my own heart.

 

Seems to me, being a little dim, that art needs to hit close to the heart and deep into the imagination. Too much brain can get in the way. And if it starts there, and seems not to able make the last leg of the journey, its just as much commentary as it is anything else. This isnā€™t to say that commentary canā€™t be art. It most certainly can be and very often is. But without a little sweat, belch or fart, itā€™s like explaining love, heartache and empathy with a graph and a pie chart.

Back, several decades ago, I had late-night bar conversations much like this. ā€œWhile devoid of symbolic content, the artistā€™s paintings ā€“ like the abstract cosmological art of India and Tibet ā€“ focus both the eye and the mind, conflating the minimal object with the meditative.ā€

The difference being, I was usually drunk and would have probably forgotten it by morning.