The Old Recluse, 40x50cm, oil on canvas.

When it comes to brushstrokes, there is no such thing as mistake.

Every brushstroke is a unique, irreversible, irreplaceable act of freedom and beauty. A brushstroke is like a breath – each one meaningful and perfect in its own self-sufficiency. Once released, it needs no correction. It is perfect just as it is.

One unconstrained, blissful brushstroke followed by the next one, and the next one – each of them contained in its own unique moment – all together make an utterly natural manifestation of the inner movement. Such brushstroke derives its meaning simply from being a spontaneous, genuine expression of the boundless creative Spirit.

Mistakes arise only when there is a presupposed goal, a specific aim, a fixed target that one sets for oneself, inevitably limiting, or narrowing the act of free expression.

A question –  Where does this presupposed goal, or aim, originates from? Does it come from the outside, or from the inside? If it genuinely comes from the inside, from which part of that inner space does it exactly come? From which desire or urge, from which fear or need, from which concept or believe? Does it come from a notion of one’s incompleteness, insufficiency and therefore out of an assumption that one needs to gain something one still does not possess? Or does it arise out of the causeless joy? If the latter is the answer, then obviously there is no particular aim to strive for, except for expressing, or embodying that joy through unrestrained and pure action which is the creative act.  So, it is not found in reacting to, but in pure, natural action. Action rather than reaction. Surrendering rather than controlling. Merging with the creative act rather than being separate from it. Becoming the creative act itself rather than performing it.

In that sense, any attempt to please others is useless. Any attempt to please oneself (the separate “I” who sets a goal) is also useless.

Therefore, having a fixed goal  must inevitably produce conflict – in this case between a desired aim and the Free Expression. A conflict produces tension, and the amount of this tension is opposite to the amount of genuineness involved in the creative process. Then, any kind of conflict leads to suffering. A fixed goal is a form of (unavoidable) violence, an aggression against the natural Self, or the boundless creative Spirit that is the ultimate creator.

Therefore, one is inclined to conclude that most of our creations are born out of a state of suffering, being derived from an act of continuing conflict with the boundless Self. This is an aspect of what is usually called the Human Condition.

Nevertheless, no matter how deeply buried under the many layers of meddling of the limited “I” into the creative process, there is a silent message within the core of every man’s creation. And this silent message speaks of the deepest longing, the longing for Freedom…being the ultimate aim … so that when achieved, even that aim can melt away…into a state of pure being.

 

Reenactment 1, 37×55 cm, oil on MDF board.